sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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