Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize