The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she smelled like a LAN party
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
