I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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