The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
