I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
