so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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