alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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