what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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