You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
