when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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