The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
