If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
