So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
