I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
