return my video game
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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