just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
