I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You pole danced in your parka.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
