wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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