I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
