We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
