Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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