small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
