i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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