i barfeds in our rink
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize