I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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