Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
