She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
