I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
