Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize