1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world