So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided