I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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