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I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
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