The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
