so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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