do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
