Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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