dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize