I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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