yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am one with the molecules
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
