Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
