My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
