Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
