she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
