Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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