Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
