I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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