I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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