you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
