Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
