the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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