thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
