apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize