just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
