I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
