it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i out mim tonsoeep
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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