just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize