Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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