Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
