Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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